


Feelings

by bintellectualmalec



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Self-Discovery, Wow, how am i the first person to do adam/jane fanfiction, queer, yall fake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12790242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bintellectualmalec/pseuds/bintellectualmalec
Summary: Jane the Heteronormative or Jane the sexually repressed?





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> i just really love adam and jane and the idea of them both being queer feeds me in ways i have yet to be fed

Things for Jane have never been simple. Everything has always been way harder than it needed to be.

Everything until Adam. 

He waltzed back into her life and made her feel like she was 19 again, young and drunk on a type of love that indestructible, like some type of superhero force field that Adam's always on about. Something that was bigger than just the two of them loving each other, and maybe it was because she was a dreamer and he was too, but everything just seemed so important. 

That includes when Adam told her that he was bisexual. 

She'd never in her life even considered that she was anything but straight, it had never appeared to be an option. Xiomara had always been an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and Alba was raised to view everyone as equal so she never had prejudice, so Jane just never thought about it.

Until Adam.

See, he didn't understand the power of his words to her when they were having lunch together and said, "Maybe it's because you haven't explored that side of yourself."

Once that dam broke the flood came. 

When she almost kissed Lina, it wasn't her not consciously thinking about it, she knew exactly what she doing and it was because she wanted to kiss her, and she'd never wanted to do that before. 

The questions she'd asked Adam weren't just for their relationship sake, it was for her to get an understanding of her feelings, and why it took her boyfriend's coming out to make her look at herself and see if it was something there, something deeper than just straight.

* * *

"Adam, can I ask you a question?" Jane said as she grabbed their glasses of orange juice of the counter, going to the couch where she cuddled underneath him.

He clicked his tongue, "Uh oh, what's going on?" He looked down at her, "Everything good between you and Rafael? Mateo?" 

She shook her head, "No no, nothing like that. It's something way more...personal." She started fidgeting with her hands and Adam reached down and grabbed them, looking her in her eyes, "Ask me anything."

"How did, how did you you know you were bisexual?"

He widens his eyes and pulls back a little, "Well remember how I said I dated a guy back when everyone was experimenting? That's not the whole truth, I knew. I'd known since about sophomore year in high school. I just remember feeling weird about finding my best friend attractive in a deeper way than just friendship, yet knowing I wasn't gay because I was still very much attracted to girls. So I went home and did some research, read up on bisexuality and it was like everything suddenly clicked you know? Things that didn't make sense finally did."

Jane nodded her head, "Wow, that's, uh, that's strangely poetic. Like it was a key to your mind or something." Adam chuckles and shrugs slightly, "Well it sorta is. It's this whole other part of you that's been dormant that you hadn't even realized had been so until you understand that it's there. It was one of the biggest parts of my self discovery."

Jane nods again and zones out, deep into thought and Adam looks at her concerned, "Is there anything you wanna talk about?"

Jane has always been good at words, but this is one of those rare times in her life, where she's not even sure that words will describe the chaos that she's feeling.

"I... it's just like, when you told me you were bi, I didn't know what to think, the idea was so foreign you know? But not because I was against bisexuality, but it was because it made me exam myself. And then you; you were the one who told me maybe I just hadn't explored myself yet and it was like once you said that I started thinking and rewinding back time and just, I don't know? I just don't know?" She rambles and he squints, trying to piece together everything she's saying.

"Do you think you're bi?" She sighs, "Maybe, probably? I don't know, I know there have been women I'm attracted to but I've never sat down and thought about it because I've always been in relationships with men. But how can I rule out something I've never even done?"

He kisses her forehead, "The statement 'Don't knock it 'til you try it' isn't the solution for this problem, it's the answer. In order to want to try it, it means that some part of you is not straight. At least that's what I think. But I don't wanna pressure you on putting a title on something that you don't even fully understand yet."

She just looks at him in confusion, "Does that mean I'm bi? Or queer? or something under 'Not straight.' I just, I have no idea what to feel and I just-"

"Hey hey hey, babe, listen to me, sexuality is fluid. It's never black and white. I know right now, that I'm bisexual, two years from now I could say that I'm pan, or queer, because it's my sexuality and as I am a person who is always changing, that has the option to change as well. So just because you're getting in tune with you sexual orientation doesn't mean you're anything yet, not until you find a label you're comfortable with." Adam cuts her off, holding her hand.

She leans her head into his shoulder, "So, what do I do? I just want to understand everything, how you had your pieces all click together? I want that. Because right now it feels like someone took a puzzle box and dumped it all out in my head and didn't leave me a picture to follow."

"I say, get your butt home and start researching. The internet is your friend. It helped me out immensely when I was lost. Watch coming out videos on youtube, read articles, go on chatrooms, and most importantly," He said grabbing her chin, "take as much time as you need to discover this part of you. This is your journey so don't feel rushed to do anything or claim anything, okay Jane?"

She sighs, looking up at him lovingly, "How are you the most supportive person known to man?" He smiles and kisses her, "You are the people you keep."

She kisses back before getting up and walking towards the door, with Adam not following far behind. She turns around, leaning against the door, "You know, one part of me really doesn't want to leave your apartment."

He puts his hands on either side of her head and gets closer to her, "No part of me wants you to leave, but all of me knows this is bigger than me, so all of me is gonna have to tell you to leave my apartment and start searching the web."

She giggles and bites her lip, leaning up to kiss him and he pulls back, "Nuh uh, because if we do that we both know it'll lead to something else. You get a kiss on the cheek and a kick out the door."

She groans and opens the door, "You better be glad I love you."

She starts to walk out and Adam watches her right before she hits the steps, "And Jane?"

"Yes?" She turns around, "I love you and I'm proud of you, because of who you are, undetermined sexual orientation and all."

She smiles brightly and grabs on to the railing, "Goodnight Adam."

He smiles back just the same, "Goodnight Jane."

**Author's Note:**

> how theHELL am i the firs tfic in this tag? wow guys. yall hate it? @iispalec on twitter and let me know! love it? @iispalec on twitter and let me know! thx for reading


End file.
